It has been one full week since I decided to go on a social media diet. I uninstalled my Instagram app and logged out from Facebook for mobile and so far have been feeling lighter inside. I have one more week until June 7 to enjoy this calm state before going back online.
This decision came after I grew more anxious scrolling down my social media feeds and saw mindless posts. From TikTok dance videos to covid19 news updates. From negative rants of people who lost their jobs due to the pandemic to positive posts from people who told everyone to stop being so negative and try to look at the bright side.
Every post I saw was always on the extreme side of the spectrum. Either extremely negative or extremely positive. Both did not make me feel good and I thought it’s only proper to spend lesser time online and more time offline.
I don’t want to be rushed by dopamine every time I see new notifications from any social media apps. I want to really live my life. Playing with my cat Loki, learning something new, drawing again, sleeping peacefully, and talking with my loved ones about meaningful things in life.
And going offline is not so bad…
I have been thinking a lot and writing in my journal about what I consider important in my life. It’s amazing how it takes a pandemic to make you think about it.
When you’re faced with the possibility of losing everything in your life, suddenly those material things that you wanted before are not important at all.
In fact, what I wanted before and what I want now are really different.
I wanted stuff, trips, and other material things before the pandemic.
Now I want to see my mother recovers from stroke and walks again.
I want to see my boyfriend again and spend quality time with him.
I want to hug my close friends, share a meal with them, and talk to them about how their lives have been.
I want everyone I know and care about to be healthy physically and mentally.
Health, time, relationships… these are the things that I want to have but I cannot afford. Not with the current situation or with the distance that separates me and my loved ones.
It will take time to get back to normal, but when that day comes… I will cherish every little thing in my life, count every little blessing I have, and love everyone like I have never loved anyone before.